Tag Archives: gratitude

Life lessons….things I learned the hard way

Life lessons….things I learned the hard way

Sister sunflower

Before you begin reading these lessons…please know that this is how I attempt to live my life. I am not always successful with all of them, but I do try.

1.) Let your “NO” be no and your “YES” be yes.

If you commit to something, follow thru. Never change your plans because something better came along. People are counting on you. Be a person of strong commitment. This is one of the characteristics of being a responsible and dependable person.

2.) Never give a LOAN to anyone.

If someone comes to you with a request for money think long and hard. Pray about it. Is this going to help this person or do you need to consider “tough love”? Don’t be an enabler. However, if you see a true need and you are able to provide the funds requested, do so never expecting to get the money back. That way you will never build up resentment toward this person. Most of the time the money is not repaid, so approach it that way from the start and you will never be disappointed in anyone. Give it and forget it. Never share your generosity with anyone, except if you are married you should make these decisions jointly.

3.) Respect other peoples possessions as well as your own.

If you borrow something, return it in the same condition or better than when you received it. And return it promptly.

4.) Live your life as if each day is your last.

If you begin each day with thanks just for waking up and breathing, you will never be disappointed. Gratitude is a key factor in happiness. Do what you can within your personal limitations to make each day full. If you have a bucket list….get busy. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

5.) Tell the ones you love how much you love them.

If those around you don’t know how you much you care about them, tell them. This encourages love, respect and nothing but positive emotions. Oprah once said, “You want someone’s eyes to light up when you enter a room.” Be sure the ones you love KNOW this love. (With social media, even a text or a tweet can show you are thinking of someone.You don’t even have to speak to them.)

6.) Never forget your priorities.

God first, family second and the rest last. If you live your life with your priorities in proper alignment with your faith, you will have NO regrets. God will smile on you.

7.) Live a life of giving.

When you give, you are showing others God’s love for them. You are His hands. It needn’t be anything more than a smile. Give as much as you can and do service to others and you will reap rewards you never imagined. Remember that giving is not always dollars.

8.) Love on older people.

I am sure you have heard it said, “Older people are just young people in wrinkly skin.” There brains are still back in their youth. Even if they forget things, they still are living and breathing as they did in years past. Show them respect and encourage them to share their life experiences with you. You might just learn something. Plus, it makes them feel they still have value, something to offer to this world.

9.) When you go to church go to honor God.

If you go to church only to have your faith nurtured you are going for the wrong reason. Go to give God one hour of your week in respect and gratitude for the many blessings He has given you. If you learn something from the homily along the way…..wonderful. Go out and practice what you learned.

10.) Only speak positive words.

If you surround yourself with positive people and speak positive words, you will have a happy and stress free life. The old saying.”If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” applies here. Who wants to be around a negative person? NOBODY.

11.) Look for the good in everyone and everything.

If you look for the good in every situation or every person, you will forget about the bad. There is a silver lining in every situation, and sometimes it is more difficult to find it than others. But it is there…as bleak as it may seem. I promise this is true.

12.) Always tell the truth.

I used to tell people things that I felt would make them fell better or what they wanted or expected to hear. Sometimes these things were far from the truth. (Rules 10 and 11 apply here.) It is always difficult to remember untruths. They will often turn into a chain of lies and then you are sunk. You probably can never remember it all. Stick to the truth and unless you have Alzheimer’s disease you will not fail.

13.) Teach your male children to always open the door for the ladies. Tell your female children to always act like a lady. Wear clothes that express your feminism not sexy. And, Father’s, teach your girls how to be treated by a man thru your words and actions from the day they are born.

They may not always be ladies, but he is always a gentleman. Tell your children to always be faithful. If they wish to spend time with someone else, break off the relationship. Be honest and fair and respectful of everyone.

14.) When children are introduced and a hand is offered make sure they look them straight in the eyes when shaking their hand.

15.) You get what you you get and you always say “Thank You”.

Enough said.

16.) Always pay your bets.

If you play games and monetary bets are made ALWAYS pay your bets. This is something you should learn early in life. Nobody wants to play with a person who justifies not paying up. And, even more importantly, don’t sit at the table without money in your pocket. It’s best not to gamble at all. But, these are rules that you should follow and in some crowds, it can be dangerous if you don’t honor the code!

17.) Teach your children about the commitment of marriage.

When they think they have found the person they want to share their life with you need to ask some hard questions. Did you pray about this person and did God give you a clear message they are the one He has chosen for you? Do you believe you can live your entire life with him/her? And, the final thing is, when you are married, you are married for life. But, if you find that you made a mistake in marrying him/her, be honest and fess up. Tell them immediately, seek help, and do not see another person until you are honest with your spouse and the marriage has been terminated. Be respectful of one another above all else. You married this person and believed you would love them forever. Find out why you don’t and fall in love all over again. Don’t wait until it is too late and things have been said that cause hearts to be torn apart.

18.) When you meet someone and you think they might “be the one” wait six months before you do anything drastic. It takes six months before the true self is shown.

19.) Don’t demand respect from your children…..earn it.

Enough said.

20.) Never throw your sibling in front of the bus.

The last two of my children were eleven months apart in age. When they were teens this came up. I wanted them to remain close throughout the teen years and into adulthood. While this is difficult for parents, it is wise. Ratting on your brother or sister causes them to lose trust in you. No trust….no deep relationship. Today, while they have strong opinions and voice them to each other, they remain very close. Nobody understands you like your sibling. The love between sisters and brothers is a deep and unending love. Don’t lose out on this blessing from God.

21.) You are only as good as your five best friends.

Do they make you a better person? Do they lift you up or tear you down? Do you want to be like them or do you sometimes justify why they hurt you or others? Choose wisely and embrace strong and nurturing friendships of those who share like values or those you would aspire to.

22.) Pray for God’s will, whatever it is, not for what you want….He already knows that.

The most important thing I can share with anyone is to pray for God’s will. It is the single most “freeing” rule I can give you. That is why I saved it for last.

If you pray for what YOU want, you will be disappointed. God doesn’t always work on your time schedule and He certainly doesn’t listen to your plan. He already has everything all worked out. He already has a plan for you. He WILL give you your hearts desire. I promise it will be bigger, better, more loving and more dependable than YOUR plan ever could be. I am the living breathing truth of this.

If God had answered some of my prayers, I would not be what I am today, where I am today and probably not half as happy and loved as I am today.

As Garth Brooks puts it. “Thank God….for unanswered prayers…”

Thank you for helping me make it one year cancer free

Thank you for helping me make it one year cancer free
Thank you to my daughter Lindsay. I would not be here without her protection, love and support.

Thank you to my daughter Lindsay. I would not be here without her protection, love and support.

To the countless friends and neighbors who prayed for me, sent inspiring cards and beautiful flowers and made visits to lift my spirits. To those who brought meals to feed my family during my hospital stays and when I was too weak to cook. Thank you.

To the Townsend Family for your prayers and your desire to take on the part of our
extended family. Thank you.

To Kelly Winer who stepped in and took over the job of running the JT Townsend Foundation when I didn’t have the strength. Thank you.

To my girlfriends who changed my sheets, cleaned my house, fed me, rubbed oil and cream on my feet and hands. Who sat with me as home health care gave me the twice daily four antibiotic IV’s that fought off my infection. Who talked to me every day to make sure I was ok or if I needed help. Thank you

To Robin and Les Passa who brought delicious meals, sent inspiring cards and brought me the many things I needed to be comfortable and showered me with love. Thank you.

To Lynda Masulli who brought meals she painstakingly prepared with no fat in the hospital and later at home so I would eat to regain my strength. Thank you

To Jack and Phyllis Garrity who have supported our two families with love and prayers and were always there to step in where we could not. Thank you

To Deacon Dan, Father Frank and Sister Joan, who each came to the hospital and my home for many months to administer the Eucharist to me in very tiny pieces when I couldn’t eat anything or had the strength to make it to church. To our parish family at OLSS for prayer. Thank you.

To my Sisters in Christ, Bible Study Groups, CRHP Sisters from OLSS who prayed for me during my 9½ hour surgery and continue to pray for me today. Thank you.

To the Warriors and Staff at Wounded Warrior Project who prayed for me, visited me in the hospital and sent blessings and gifts to show they were thinking of me. Also, for being such a great support to Lindsay during this time. Thank you.

To JT and my Mother in Law Peggy who are my intercessors in heaven who made sure the prayers were answered. Thank you.

To my Sister and Brother, Sisters In Laws and their children and grandchildren, my cousins for your love and support. Thank you.

To Grandpa Lugi who learned how to make coffee and drove me to chemo at Mayo and helped with the laundry, house chores and Baby Jude. Thank you

To my children and grandchildren – Scott, Blake, Taylor, Abby, Olivia and Tommy, Louis and Emily, and Evan for your daily texts, phone calls, visits, support and love. Thank you.

To my son in law Matthew who let me know he was always there and allowed Lindsay and his newborn son to spend as much time with me as possible. Thank you.

To Baby Jude without who’s inspiration I don’t think I would even be here. I love you.

To Lindsay, who was my protector and stayed at my side when I was the one who was supposed to be taking care of her after the birth of our angel Baby Jude, and continues to be by my side every minute of every day even from work. Thank you.

To the Mayo nursing, oncology and radiation staff, who helped me make it through surgery and treatment. You are truly angels here on earth all of you. Thank you.

To Doctor Horacio Asbun whom Tom and I both thank from the bottom of our hearts that you had the skill and the courage to perform the lifesaving and complicated Whipple Surgery on me. Thank you.

To Tom who is my Joseph, thank you for traveling this journey by my side. You slept in a chair next to my bed for 31 days. You helped me with things nobody should have to do and made jokes about it. You never missed an appointment or a treatment. You held me up. I love you beyond words and am so happy I took a chance on you 31 ½ years ago. I can never thank you enough.

And finally to God, for gracing me with being among the 18% who survive PC for more than 12 months. For the courage and the peace you give me every day to face this challenge. For the people you surround me with who show me YOUR love in many ways. Lord, I thank you for each and every day I am here on earth.

My "Joseph" husband Tommy who is my partner on this journey. Words could never ever describe my gratitude for what he has done for me for the last year.

My “Joseph” husband Tommy who is my partner on this journey. Words could never ever describe my gratitude for what he has done for me for the last year.