When Matthew and Lindsay decided to marry we were hopeful they would want the ceremony to be held at OLSS. The Garrity family also belongs to the parish family. So we were all very pleased when the decision was positive. Fr. Remek Blaszkowski would be the officiant, a young priest with a thick Czech accent, whom we had all fallen in love with. Tom called him the “rock star”. He always kept us enthralled with his up to the moment homilies. We knew they would also love this no nonsense guy with a passion for his faith. Both families couldn’t be happier.

The bridesmaids, the bride and myself sat anxiously in the limo as we watched thru the tinted black windows as guests passed by arriving at the church a little late and rushing in to find their seats. In just a few moments we would enter the church. The bride is always the last to enter, so Lindsay and I stayed behind after the maids made their way inside. I told Lindsay how much her Dad and I love her and how happy we are for her. We were thrilled with her choice in Matt. I held her hand and asked her if she was nervous. She said she wasn’t but was excited and couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle. Suddenly the door opened. Fr. Remek stuck his head into the limo and looked Lindsay straight in the eye as he asked, “What is your final answer Lindsay? Are you ready to marry Matthew?” “Yes” she said “I am ready to marry Matt.” “Let’s go then” he said as he held out his hand to help us, bouquets in hand, exit the limo. He rushed us into the small dressing room where the priests don their vestments for mass and quickly closed the door.

The church was filled with family and friends waiting in anticipation as they sat listening to family friend Chuck Kessler, accompanied by his son Michael, strum his guitar and sing beautiful songs hand picked by Lindsay and Matthew.

The tiny room held a triple mirror, a closet where the priests vestments were stored and a small bathroom. Lindsay twirled and took one last look at herself in the mirror when there was a knock at the door. I knew it had to be her Father. I opened the door a crack as he pushed the door open and slipped into the room with us. “Honey, you are not supposed to be in here.” I said. “Dad” Lindsay said, “I don’t want to ruin my makeup.” “I know” he said, “but I needed to get this ……over…..before….we walk down the aisle.” He stuttered as he took in his daughter-bride in the gown he had not seen until this moment. He turned around fully as he gasped for air. “I want to tell you both how much I love you. Judi… for giving me Lindsay. You are the most important women in my life.” He wiped his tears as there was another knock at the door.

“The Mother of the Bride” needs to get in line now”, the church lady was pleading. I left the room and took my place at the front of the processional with my handsome son Louis who would escort me up the aisle. It was beginning. I had been reminded, the Mother-of-the-Bride controls the ceremony. The music changed to my favorite song,”I Give You My Heart”. Chucks’ voice was sweet and folkish. We were the first to make the slow long walk toward the altar. He walked me to the second pew. Next came the Mother-of-the Groom, Phyllis Garrity on the arm of her Husband-Best Man, Jack. She was seated across the aisle from me. She glanced a smile my way and we stood and approached the altar where we lit the unity candles, two candles representing the two families with one large candle in the center. When the candles had been lit we squeezed each others hand and descended the few steps back to our seats.

Now it was time for the processional hymn “This is the Day”. Matthew, the Bridegroom and his Father-Best Man were next. Matthew looked so handsome, his tall stature and his tight black curls. On his black lapel was an orchid boutineer, a small dove feather tucked in. They slowly approached the altar and took their places turning to watch the processional and then the Bride and her Father. The moment he had waited for was fast approaching.

The Bridesmaids and Groomsmen were next in their beautiful Vera Wang yellow-gold flowing gowns and classic black tuxes, everyone smiling as the excitement was building. I had honestly never seen such a beautiful collection of friends. They approached the altar, lowered their heads as they reached the first step, the maids lined up to the left the groomsmen to the right. The witnesses were in place.

Next came the priest in his beautiful cream colored robe with an embellished green vestment draped over his shoulders. He took his place at the center of the altar near Matthew.

Matthew’s niece, darling 3 1/2 year old MaryBeth was chosen as the flower girl with Tommy and Mitchell as ring bearers. The children made their way down the aisle. MaryBeth was coaxed down by adult cousin, beautiful Kelly Sherrod. They took their places in the front pews next to their families curious about what was going to happen next.

The altar was complete with the exception of one.

The music changed to “Canon in D” as Fr. Remek motioned for everyone to stand. And suddenly she appeared on the arm of her proud Father, more beautiful then ever and smiling. Tom held her hand on his arm as he guided his only precious daughter to her love waiting at the altar. She was a picture perfect bride in her Augusta Jones creamy lace dress with a long satin bow at her waist and the long lace train trailing behind. She wore no veil on her low soft bun just a beautiful creamy flower to one side. On her wrist was her “something borrowed”, my pearl bracelet. She was stunning.

Matthew did not take his eyes away off of her from the moment she entered the church. He later told me he couldn’t believe she was really his.

The guests were seated and a full Catholic mass began. The Brides oldest brother Scott and the Grooms sisters, Jacqueline and Amy read the scriptures specially selected by Lindsay and Matthew. Both families were well represented in the sacred sacrament of holy matrimony.

When Fr. Remek began his homily he held everyones attention. Lindsay and Matthew had met with Fr. Remek to prepare for their marriage for eight months. So, with personal knowledge he spoke from his heart. He told Lindsay that she showed her trust in Matthew when he blindfolded her and took her for a car ride last November. And, when he placed her in the stunt plane and sent her up in the air with only a pilot and her parachute. He asked her thru her headphones if she wanted to take another wild ride with him, when he asked her to marry him.
Fr. Remek told the Bride and Groom and the assembled guests that they were embarking on a true adventure and that trust in each other and trust in God would be the foundation they should build their family on. It was a wonderful homily enjoyed by everyone.

The vows were spoken and the rings blessed and exchanged. Matthew and Lindsay lit the large candle with the two side candles lit by their Mothers and they became one in God’s eyes. The mass continued with the sacred solemnity it always holds. The couple turned from the priest toward the assembly and were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Garrity. We all cheered and clapped our hands. Chuck began to loudly strum and sing Third Days’ “I’ve Always Loved You”. Then, Matthew, with his hand at his brides back, led his Wife-Bride down the steps and down the aisle, past family and friends both of them bursting with happiness.

They were officially married.

Let the party begin.

The post The ceremony first appeared on Zjudes blog.

For most of my life I was blessed by being a “thin” person.  I never craved sweets, in fact I actually loved salty and sour tastes. But, that all changed when I met the love of my life who just happens to be Italian. I found myself enjoying long meals and preparing meals myself – meals with several courses,the last course, dessert. Meals became a source of entertainment. Cities were not noted for their magnificent sights, in my world they became known for a famous steakhouse or deli. Slowly my slim waist transformed to a muffin top!  My size 4 body became 6, then 8 and even 10! What was happening to me?

Let’s be honest here. I am not young.  I am even a bit past middle aged.  I would not even qualify for “Cougar”. But, the aging process is not going to stop. It seems like yesterday (age, maybe 26) when I glimpsed the rearview mirror to check myself out and noticed two lines along my neck, under my chin.  It looked like two scars from plastic surgery.  I had not even ever had plastic surgery. What was this?  Then, a few years later I was climbing into the v-birth of my sailboat when I noticed the ever so slight pooch of skin sort of wrinkled and hanging (evidence of child-bearing) where my flat abdomen used to be. These subtle signals were roadsigns that lead in only one direction… toward menopause, the next big milestone, the one that gave me hot flashes and a “men-o-pot”.  The mirror was being avoided much like the scale.  But, then God, in His wisdom, took away my clear vision and left me in a blur. The lines that formed along my mouth became more faint. However, the digital numbers on my scale popped up clearly.  It seemed as if I had gained ten pounds for every decade since I was 20!  The scale did not lie.

Recently they announced a study that said a woman over forty must do an hour of cardio daily to maintain her weight.  That is just great.  That means my vigorous daily walk was allowing me to only maintain? But, I want to lose.  I have a wedding in October.  Those matronly Mother of the Bride dresses are not for me.  I wanted a sleek tight fitting dress. And, I didn’t want to wear a jacket to cover my arms. I had t o step it up… literally.

The ocean is just 5 miles from my home.  I love the ocean, I love to bike and I love to walk.  It seemed simple enough.  Just incorporate those loves into a new workout plan.  So, at least three days per week I try to bike to the ocean 5 miles, walk the ocean for 1 hour around 4 miles, then bike home another 5 miles.  This takes me 2 hours.  And, it is rejuvenating to chase the sandpipers walking in the hard sand just beyond the breaking surf with the sun hitting my face and the waves crashing to my side, every passerby smiling and nodding hello. A beautiful workout.

Slowly the pounds are melting away.  The scale is sliding in the right direction.  I monitor my input (eating) and my output (exercise).  The years are slipping by.  The wrinkles continue to appear. That is something beyond my control. But, the feeling I have of being back in the drivers seat is wonderful.  I have more energy and am starting to peek in the mirror a bit more often these days. That long indigo gown should look great by October. And, I don’t think I will wear a jacket or even a throw. Back in control and  I feel amazing.  Mother of the Bride….Judi Z style………

The post Presiding over my domain (taking control) first appeared on Zjudes blog.

With any milestone passage, we naturally reflect on the person and others who have been a support along the way. It is simple for me to gush about my lovely daughter and her equally lovely friends. In fact, this might be the only acceptable time for a mom to get it all out without her daughter rolling her eyes or anyone else being brought to nausea.  I will have the floor, I will have their complete and utter attention so reflect I will.

The bridal shower is a charming tradition.  It is the one day according to “The Knot” when the bride  should be treated as the center of attention.  The shower will be be completely and totally all about her. I want to collect my thoughts over time so that I am totally prepared and so that I weed out those things that would be better left unsaid. Like the day we were driving in the car on the way to the mall and the girls asked me a question about oral sex. And how I prayed at the very moment that God would give me the exact words that I should say.  Oh, and that my face would not reflect my horror at the thought of these innocents even thinking about that.  But, more importantly I want to be sure I touch on those important things. Like the day she finally admitted she thought Matthew was the one. When she shared her dreams with me about her life and her love. I love that there are bridal showers to allow us all to get an intimate glimpse of the lives of those we hold so dear.

So, I am going to tie up my walking shoes and think about what I want to say that day.  I pray it will honor her and show her how much she means to me, her Dad,our entire family and all of our close and dear friends.  I have  5 mos, 9 days, 6 hours and 25 mins. to get it right.

The post We wish to thank…….. first appeared on Zjudes blog.