Tag Archives: pancreas cancer

Thinking outside the box – UPDATE

Thinking outside the box – UPDATE
Fourth of July fun at Z-Farm

The past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster ride for my family, friends and me. Confirming that the malignant adenocarcinoma had returned to the head of my reconstructed pancreas and having my oncologist tell us without treatment we have just months would send any human being to a deep dark place.

Having survived the absolute most fatal cancer for eight years has truly been a miracle thanks to God, you my prayer warriors, my fantastic medical team of primary care doc, surgeons, radiologists, gastroenterologists, radiologists, oncologists and the PA’s and nurses who assist them at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL.

But, realistically, we always knew there would be a day when the cancer would take over.

For a time we placed our complete trust in a non-approved trial drug Herceptin Hylecta (trastuzumab and hyaluronidase-ovsk) recently used as immunotherapy treatment for early breast cancer in HER2 positive patients, with great success I might add. Tests were run to determine the DNA of my tumor and provide the best possible match for the gene therapy. The prayer was that I might be the first pancreas cancer patient to receive the treatment…and that it would destroy the cells. That was truly our only hope.

When we asked if surgery could be performed to remove the tumor, the answer was no, there has not been success in the past with patients with similar medical situations. So truly our only hope was in the trial drug. So, we began the infusions.

Entering the chemo suites that familiar smell and feeling rushed over me like a bad dream. But, I knew this treatment would be different. My oncologist told me I would not lose my hair, I would not experience nausea but would possibly have a rash. A rash? I could surely handle that. But, it was just returning to this place I had avoided for two years, that sick feeling returned. I was happy to see a familiar face, a nurse who sat with me the entire infusion watching for adverse reaction but more importantly, chatting in light conversation.

As the test reports came in my case was presented by my oncologist to the Thursday tumor board, a group of up to eighteen Mayo docs from different departments. (Get a second opinion? Why when you have eighteen of the finest doctors in the world collaborating over your MRi’s, scans, blood work and pathology reports.)

One of the surgeons attending that day probably said, “Oh this is Judi, I am familiar with her case. She is the one who defies all of the norms with her PC.” But most importantly, he thought he had a solution. He presented his ideas to the board and they all agreed.

Shortly after the meeting my oncologist phoned. His excitement came right thru the phone as he explained what the surgeon was proposing. He told me surgery was being offered to me and to expect a call from Dr. Stauffer.

When Dr. Stauffer called I listened intently to his plan. He began by stating, “Judi, we need to think outside of the box with you.” He explained they would like to surgically remove the tumor, a suspicious lymph node behind the mesenteric artery as well as a lesion that had shown up for years on my liver, but had not grown in size in any of my scans. He said, if you agree to the surgery, I believe it can work.

My reaction was, “What have I got to lose?” He replied, “You have nothing to lose and life to gain.”

I have received two infusions to date and am scheduled for a third in early August. Scans and tests will be reviewed to check results of the infusions and to be used in the open surgery that will be performed August 17th.

Many of you are praying for me and as you have heard me say in the past, I truly believe this is the explanation I have for my survival. God is listening to your payers, and granting them. For this we are eternally grateful. So, again, I am asking for your prayers for the doctors and nurses on my care team to receive what they need to have a successful surgery. Again, not just for me but to make surgery a possibility for other PC warriors with resectable tumors.

Thankful for all of my prayer warriors and thankful for a surgeon who is willing to think outside the box.

Update…

Update…
This is a spiritual place…Z-Family Farm – Fletcher North Carolina

God has granted me so many miracles throughout my life. But the most miraculous of all has been the gift of eight years since my diagnosis of pancreas cancer on April 29th, 2014.

Tommy and I agree these have been the best eight years of our lives together.

Our faith has grown so enormously and so deeply throughout this journey that we count that as another huge miracle He has blessed us with. Our children experience firsthand the importance of having a relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and all agree we could not handle this without Him. We put our trust in Him completely to lead us through this difficult trial.

For our friends, it has been miraculous as well. They pray diligently and many daily that we can have one more day, one more good scan, one more birth, one more memory. They see Him answer those prayers time after time. I know it has deepened their faith as well.

The most recent miracle has been the success of our 6th Champions for Hope event. Thanks to our sponsors, friends and volunteers who open their hearts and their pocketbooks to help us raise EPIC amounts of money to help the disabled community and continue our research at Mayo Jacksonville for pc early detection. Thank you just never seems enough.

Yesterday we received some news. An MRI revealed a suspicious mass in the reconstructed head of my pancreas. The MRI was ordered by my oncology team due to ongoing weight loss and GI issues I have had since last July.

The doctors believe the pancreas cancer has now metastasized to my Whipple operation site. Many of you know I have mets to my lungs that have remained stable since July 2018. (Another miracle.)

They have ordered an Endoscopic Ultrasound Procedure for June 23rd to biopsy the tumor and confirm 100% the adenocarcinoma has returned to this spot. They are not able to perform this biopsy before that date due to my positive Covid test June 1st. This test would require twilight sedation and therefore must follow CDC Covid protocol of waiting 21 days from the positive test date.

My Mayo team respects my decision to forego chemotherapy as a treatment and maintain the best possible quality of life. 

They are seeking a clinical trial drug that might be successful working with my HER2 (Human Epidermal growth factor Receptor 2–positive). No person with pancreas cancer has ever received this treatment. It is approved to treat early-stage breast cancer. When this drug works for me it could mean that other pancreas cancer patients with this HER2 gene could benefit as well.

So, we ask for prayers for another miracle. Not just for me but for the countless other pc patients who may not have access to or doctors who even are aware of this treatment.

Tommy, me, and our entire family will continue to pray we can graciously accept God’s will for the outcome whatever it might be.

But, here is one thing you can completely count on…when the day comes and my life is over…I win. I will be sitting at the feet of Jesus whole once again in heaven for all of eternity.

If you are not a believer, I pray you will accept Jesus as your personal savior and be able to turn your trials into blessings just as we have.

I love you all and I am forever grateful and humbled by your love, support and prayers.

Who can I talk to?

Who can I talk to?
Psalm 91 gives me peace
My bible and my journal help me fight this beast pancreas cancer

I have a journal with information about people who have been referred to me with pancreas cancer. I keep just a few sentences about them and where they are in their diagnosis. They come from anywhere…friends around the country, family who have googled “PC” and landed at my blog. Mayo docs have asked me if they can send me newly diagnosed patients. They all have terror in their voices. I believe it is what God wants me to do and maybe even why I am still here nearly six years from the day I was exactly where they are.

You see, I didn’t have anyone but my family to help me in those early days. Of course I had my doctors, but they couldn’t help me with the fear I felt. I wanted to speak to someone who was in the battle. That is the impetus for bringing my story to others.

Faith played an enormous part in this journey. It is the first question I ask a new fellow warrior. Quite frankly, I don’t think I could have made it this far without my trust in God. Finding strength in His word, we journey on stronger and confident that no matter what, in the end we all win. We go home to Him and have no more fear, no more pain.

The pages of my journal are filled with small paragraphs. Some of them are highlighted with a marker indicating they have earned their purple wings, as we say.

Today, I added another name to my journal. A 62 year man who is expecting another grand child in June. He was given 9 to 11 months to live just yesterday. Stage 4 pancreas cancer. He is desperate for hope, for anyone who will erase that death sentence. As I spoke with him I assured him I would do all I could to help him by connecting him with doctors who saved my life. Yet, the most important thing I can do for him is to pray for him. He immediately felt our bond. And, I pray he received just a glimmer of hope from a previous day that turned his world upside down.

Last week, due to Covid-19, we were forced to cancel our fundraising event, Champions for Hope that was to take place in early June. This event enables us to fund three promising research projects seeking early detection for this deadly cancer with a five year survival rate of just 9%.

While I wonder how God will provide, I trust He will. I trust because I know this work is ordained. He will bring us others whom we may have never met to carry on His work.

We can’t wait to see the silver lining that will emerge from this enormous black cloud that hangs over the earth today. But, for this moment in time, I will continue to be led by His prompting.

Prayers will be answered, of that I am absolutely positive because that is His promise.

“I Can Only Imagine…”

“I Can Only Imagine…”

The nurse covered me with a warmed blanket. The life killing chemo drugs were coursing through my body making me feel chilled. The blanket felt like heaven.

I have now lost track of how many chemo infusions I have received. But, my oncologist says I am a good responder to chemo. So we stay on course. I am currently on what he calls “chemo maintenance.” Just one infusion once a month. Truth is, I am afraid to stop taking it.

The last scan revealed the eleven plus tumors in my lungs , my recurrence of pancreas cancer, are not growing. That is the best possible news we could hope for.

My sweet Tommy is comfortable on the couch in the chemo suite as we watch the movie we have chosen for today. “I Can Only Imagine”, the true story of Bart Millard the lead singer of the band MercyMe.

The story is riveting of this young Greenville, Texas boy who’s mother left home leaving him in the care of an abusive alcoholic father. His only salvation was his love of music that led him to the protection of his true Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ.

After returning home at one point in the movie, Bart and his father have their usual explosive fight and Bart runs out of the house and tries to leave on his motorcycle. In a twist of fate, the bike won’t start but Bart is determined to leave and jumps into his dad’s truck where he finds a pamphlet in the visor about Pancreatic Cancer.

His dad was dying.

Bart takes his father to church where he accepts Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. This man who had been broken all of his life was transformed.

Bart’s struggles with his musical career were exhausting but he knew he had a song deep within him. He continued to search for it, journaling lyrics and strumming his guitar.

Finally it comes to him. “I Can Only Imagine”.

Bart’s agent felt the song could be the hit they had all been searching for but considered giving it to an established singer, Amy Grant. She loved the song as everyone who heard it did and she was set to perform it to a packed concert hall.

Amy Grant stood on stage, guitar in hand as the first bars of the song played. But she could not sing. She knew the song was going to be a hit. She also knew Bart Millard the songwriter. She stopped and told the crowd, “This is not my song to sing…meet Bart Millard, and this is his song.” Surprised Bart takes the stage and slowly begins to sing his beautiful song . As he looks out over the crowd, the seats are all empty except for one. His father was sitting in the middle of the hall with a heavenly light streaming all around him and smiling the look of a proud father.

I Can Only Imagine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LonOTKVmkeo

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk, by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When you face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagineSurrounded by You glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagineI can only imagine when that day comes
When I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I would
do is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagineSurrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I…

Tommy and I left the chemo suite in tears. It was such a heartbreaking story with the perfect ending. We were visibly touched. What a wonderful way to spend this difficult day. We knew it was a sign from God that Bart’s dad had pancreatic cancer.

Two days went by and I was suffering from the effects of the chemo drugs attacking my body. I got a call from a friend inviting Tommy and I to join she and her husband the next night at a concert …..”Mercy Me” !! I told her yes we would go not really knowing if my body would be strong enough.

At the concert we were thrilled to see Bart onstage with the rest of his band. They played several great songs and near the end of the show sang “I Can Only Imagine”. Tommy and I sat close and felt he was singing only to the two of us. It was a magical moment. We felt God’s presence.

And, as our Lord would have it…there is always a message. Bart explained about his final song…..”We Win”.

“No matter what is happening in your life today, no matter how messed up the world is right now, none of this matters because if you have Jesus Christ in your life, when we lay our head down to rest….You win. You get to spend eternity with a loving living God.”

Again we were brought to tears. This was the message God had for us that night. We win.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AQ3bHr80PM

P.S. Bart Millard, I don’t know if you will ever see this page, but if you do, I would love to have a few minutes of your time to share our story with you

Source: LyricFind

I choose to believe God…

I choose to believe God…

They say that pancreas cancer tumors rarely disappear with chemo. Usually the best you can ask for is a stable scan where no new tumors develop and the ones you have don’t show any significant growth. Well, the two images above are a comparison from six weeks ago to yesterday after I completed my chemotherapy regimen of Abraxane and Gemcitabine. The 2.5cm tumor on the right is ALMOST gone.

My oncologist, Dr. Mody did not perform a biopsy on the tumor to determine unequivocally it was pancreas cancer. The pathology reports from the lung resections had confirmed pancreas cancer mets, but some of the tumors may have been benign. We will never confirm scientifically that this tumor was or was not of pancreas cancer origin. But, we do know it almost disappeared thanks to the chemo treatment.

I believe that God heard the prayers of you, His faithful servants. I believe He has more work for me to do. I believe I have been given more time, and I plan to use it to honor and glorify Him every single day.

In two weeks I will begin another chemo treatment plan to hopefully take care of the rest of that tumor. I am so thankful for your positive thoughts and prayers.

They are working.

The most wonderful time of the year…

The most wonderful time of the year…

It’s just a week before Christmas. The tree shines brightly in the family room, presents are being wrapped as they arrive in the mail and the cards are all sent. The food is ordered for the Christmas Eve party and the family is excited to share another Christmas together. The dog is laying in front of the fire as I write and sip my holiday blend steaming hot coffee. Seems so normal yet in the back of my mind I am wondering…could this be my last Christmas with the family?

Cancer is the most devastating diagnosis anyone can receive. But, after surviving a life threatening whipple surgery, chemo and radiation treatment, a horrible post-op infection, hernia surgery and most recently lung surgery to determine the origin of the tumors has been a difficult journey, but I am thankful for this time I have been blessed with. Yet still wondering each day, each minute if tomorrow I will wake up and feel the effects of the tumors that are slowly growing in my lungs. While is sounds cliche’ cancer does suck.

Seeing Christmas theu the eyes of my grandchildren has given me new hope.They are hearing of the birth of Jesus for the very first time. They peer at the Nativity that sits on the cabinet listening as I explain each character and the part they played in this miraculous story. We attend the preschool Christmas program where one of them plays the part of a wiseman. We travel to see a live nativity reenactment with live camels and a precious live baby Jesus. This story is the core of the season and I am going to make sure they don’t think it is all about toys and gifts for them. Christmas is about hope and miracles and humbling humility.

It’s our favorite time of year. A time when we make toasts at dinner to tell the ones we love why we love them. It’s a time to dress up and visit our friends and sing Christmas carols. It is a time of reflection. What has the last year brought us? Did we enjoy success, good health, happiness? It is a time to consider a helping hand to those who are less fortunate. To reach out and share our blessings.

And, it leads up to New Years eve, when we have a chance to make changes that will ensure the next year of our lives will be even better.
I don’t know what the year ahead will bring me. But, I can enjoy every minute knowing eventually I will be going to heaven to spend eternity with the Lord.

Do you know Jesus? Do you have a deep relationship with our Lord and Savior? Is there something lacking in your life that leaves you feeling depressed and unsure? Don’t allow yourself to think “This is how I am, it’s just Me.” Everyone can make change and improvement in their lives. It takes work and effort but the first step is to recognize what needs to be changed. I promise you if you ask Jesus into your life and let Him lead you every moment of every day, your life will be transformed. You will be able to be the best you can be. Now is the time to make 2019 transformational.

This truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though out outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

When prayers are offered…

When prayers are offered…

Patty slipped the note containing a prayer for healing between the rocks of the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem today. When she had a moment, she sent me a message to tell me what she had done and this photo to prove it.

What a powerful message my friend sent me. The blessing of a prayer mumbled in near silence as she pressed closer into the crowd to reach the wall. She had promised to pray for me in a card she mailed before she left…and she was following through.

If you have followed this journey with me for very long you know I believe in miracles and I believe in the power of prayer. I completely believe the only reason I am here four years and four months since my pancreas cancer diagnosis is thru the intercession of prayers offered up for me.

Sometimes I wonder when I tell someone I will pray for them if they truly believe I will do it. Am I just saying something because I don’t know what else to say about the trial they are faced with? This promise is a huge responsibility in my view. The reason is….I know that if God hears the prayers of all of us…He will answer them. It might not be in our time, it might not be in the way we thought He should do it….but He does answer.

My niece told me last week she and her family pray for healing for me every night. I can picture four little boys in the pajamas and wet heads kneeling beside their beds with hands pressed. She asked me what I wanted her to pray for me. I told her to please pray for God’s will for us and for His peace and strength to face whatever His will would be. That we could glorify Him in our acceptance and be an example of what having a relationship with Our Lord Jesus Christ looks like. An example that would stir the question deep within them…how do I find that kind of strength?

There are many friends, family and others that are praying for us. Not one day passes that someone doesn’t share with Tommy or me in conversation or by email. We are humbled and thankful. Thank you Patty.

If you feel a tug at your soul to say a prayer for someone you know could use it..please do so. And, watch to see how the answer unfolds. There is a power in this simple act that can move mountains. I promise you.

I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call on Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13

Wailing Wall -Jerusalem

Another miracle?

Another miracle?

The next thought after your doctor shares with you the terrifying news that you have a mass or a tumor your mind goes on defense mode. Or at least that is what happened for me. A defense mechanism seemed to take over. “Surely it is not cancer”. “Can I die?” Maybe you were like me and truly didn’t see this coming. You may never seriously have thought about trying to wrap your mind around those chilling words. You might think it couldn’t happen to me.

It has been four years and four months since my doctor informed me of the mass that had taken residence in the head of my pancreas and slowly over who knows how many years it grew until it was large enough to make it’s presence known. Appointments many specialist, CT scans, blood work, MRI’s, surgeries that lasted nine and a half hours, chemo, radiation, drains, ports, biopsies, more scans and more surgeries, and countless glasses of clear contrast….but, thankfully I am still here and I am feeling very good.

Adenocarcinoma is the deadliest form of pancreas cancer. Unfortunately, pancreas cancer is the one that is clinically and scientifically least understood. In 2018 doctors cannot predict how these cells will act. Yet, the diagnosis of pancreas cancer is up twenty to thirty percent I heard someone say. According to PanCan.org it is scheduled to be the number two cancer killer by 2020 beating out breast cancer for the number three slot in 2017. No longer does the diagnosis appear for the 70 year old smoker typically male. It has joined the other fatal cancers that refuse to discriminate between gender or age or social behavior. What will it take to bring attention to this silent killer that creeps into more and more bodies every day?

Statistics say only nine percent of those diagnosed with pancreas cancer will live five years. Looks like I might make it to April 29th, 2019. But, the cancer is back. This time it has taken residence in my lungs. About eighteen months ago I had one small spot in my lung. Today I have eight. If you count the three that were removed from my left lung late June, that would make eleven. They say I should be able to live at least two more years before the tumors begin to impede my oxygen supply, and I am counting on it.

But, there are options that can POSSIBLY shrink those tumors and most importantly stop more from forming. Chemotherapy could possibly do this for me. But, at what cost? If you read the side effects, they warn of fatigue, loss of appetite, diarrhea, vomiting, rash and/or yellowing of the skin, possible hair loss, weight loss…

I no longer have thoughts of “Maybe it’s not cancer.” Pathology has proven by my DNA it is in fact return of pancreas cancer. But, I do have hope in a drug that targets cells that grow and divide quickly. Unlike surgery or radiation, this drug is so toxic it also attacks healthy cells, like those of the skin, hair, intestines, and bone marrow. But, it is a drug that could give me more precious moments of time. Time with my family and friends. Time to see my new grand babies and those babies of my children’s best friends. The children I have watched grow into adults right before my eyes. Precious time.

When I visited my oncologist after my scan last week he recommended I consider Capecitabine, a chemo drug in pill form taken twice daily. My Joseph asked would I be able to travel on this drug. “Everyone reacts a little differently to it.” doctor said. “I am strong and tolerated chemo quite well last time.” I jumped in. “Only one time did my blood work require half a dose in the entire six months of my treatment.” “Take home the information and think about it.” Dr. Mody said. I responded….”I will be praying about it.”

Sunday morning Tom, his Father and I sat in a tiny wooden pew at St. Patricks Cathedral in NYC. Cardinal Doolan was the celebrant followed by four priests and several alter servers. Fortunately for us it was the service with music. What sounded like a choir of angels sang from the loft at the rear of the church as the huge organ pulsed its deep bass tones.

I was sure of it…I will begin the chemo this week.I have to take a chance this drug will hold those tumors at bay. I need more time, and I am asking God to grant it, another miracle.

Hearing this, Jesus said to Janius, “Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed.” Luke 8:50/NIV

St. Anthony patron saint of miracles

Preparing for battle

Preparing for battle

Ephesians 6:11-18 King James Version (KJV)
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

During this journey of pancreas cancer we have faced very difficult decisions a couple of times. In the past I have taken the approach, “Let’s get it out of my body now.” vs. attempting to shrink the tumors with chemotherapy which may or may not work. We gather the facts and Tommy always gives me his opinion but tells me to make the final call because it is my body. And, I always had a very strong feeling of what I needed to do. Those decisions have proven to be the right ones so far. God granted us a miracle giving me 4 years and 2 months of a very good quality of life.

We find ourselves once again at the crossroads. There are five small nodes in my right lung that have been carefully observed for many months. Just a month ago three nodes were removed from my left lung, two of which had cells consistent with pancreas cancer meaning my cancer was back. It had metastasized to another vital organ.

Adenocarcinoma originating in the pancreas is the deadliest form of cancer.

We must prepare for battle once again. But, this time the decisions are not quite as clear cut. The options call for patience, for waiting. Having these cells at work in my body, knowing the destruction they leave in their path makes it very difficult to sit back. To give it time to manifest, to grow. Yet, the doctors tell us the five nodes are small. They have been very slow growing which is uncharacteristic of pancreas cancer. The cells are not acting like pancreas cancer. Nothing about the cells behavior is textbook. They even challenged the pathologist findings. But, the proof remained. The cells are consistent with pancreas cancer.

But yet what do we know about pancreas cancer?

We do know that it behaves differently in patients. That it responds differently to routine treatment. While those who dare to challenge it in research are discovering new techniques to fight it every day, there is no 100% foolproof treatment.

The doctors question if the nodes are large enough to have good blood supply necessary for the chemo drugs to do the job. “Let’s wait six weeks.” They don’t want to infuse me with the poison that could kill the cells and rob me of the present good quality of life I enjoy until they are sure it can work.

So, we will wait. We will enjoy every day I am feeling good. We will make plans and take short trips and watch sunsets and children playing. We will take in all of this amazingly wonderful life we have been blessed with.

I stand fully clothed in the whole armour of God…ready to fight the battle before me once again.

Jude has HOPE for his Mia

“Trouble, trouble, trouble….Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend”

“Trouble, trouble, trouble….Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend”

ServPro So Jacksonville and Arlington golf event to benefit Champions for Hope

ServPro So Jacksonville and Arlington golf event to benefit Champions for Hope

Apprehension is building to the date of that dreaded scan.The March and June scans revealed spots on my lungs that my oncologist, Dr. Johnson said the chance of a reoccurrence of my pancreatic cancer could be 3 or 4 on a scale of 1-10.

With my husband out of town our daughter Lindsay and her baby boys joined me the entire day at Mayo in June as I checked off my schedule of appointments. 8AM blood work on the chemotherapy floor, because they know how to access my port without pain. 12:30 drink the contrast liquid down about 1/2 an hour before the 5 minute CT scan. Then afternoon appointments, allowing for the radiology department to read the scans and write their findings then meeting with my oncologist who will review the labs and CT scan report and give us the results. Then another appointment with my Radiology-oncologist for his take on the reports. They attempt to schedule both docs appointments back to back so there is no waiting for that thumbs up from everyone and we can get on with our lives, at least for three more months anyway.

That is how we live our lives in this family, at three month intervals.

According to the doctor those 3 or 4 or more “lit up” nodules grew in size from March to June, but remained under 1cm and too small to go thru the pain of collapsing my lung to biopsy them. I had a case of pneumonia early in spring. Could that have had anything to do with this I asked? My radiology oncologist was more positive than the oncologist. He said it could be lung cancer, which would be better for me than a metastatic pancreatic cancer.

Lindsay quipped on the way home in the car, “Here we are praying it is lung cancer. Something just seems wrong about that.”

Jaguars "Meet me on the 50"  night.

Jaguars “Meet me on the 50” night.

My amazing husband planned fun trips for us during the three months. One week in Cleveland to visit family and catch the Cavs’ Championship ring ceremony. That turned in to game two of the World Series with the Cleveland Indians and the Chicago Cubs. What at week. Then we had baby showers and Jacksonville Jags games and of course my work with both foundations. They would keep me as busy as possible so I could not have time to think about the grey cloud that was hovering just above me.

The LAND.....Cleveland ROCKS

The LAND…..Cleveland ROCKS

Purple Stride – Jacksonville Beach….

The D'Errico's turn out in full support of Jude's Dude's Purple Stride 2016

The D’Errico’s turn out in full support of Jude’s Dude’s Purple Stride 2016

Oh, and then hurricane Matthew and an evacuation!

Hurricane Matthew - evacuation to Poppas warehouse. 12 adults and 9 dogs....fun fun fun

Hurricane Matthew – evacuation to Poppas warehouse. 12 adults and 9 dogs….fun fun fun

Not much time to think about possibilities. There is no reason to worry, God is in control. I know that He has much work for me to do. I believe He has given me this time to help others with raising awareness of this lethal cancer that tries to steal life, laughter and love from it’s next target. But, not today PC. Today I am thankful for my cancer. We have a new outlook on everything thanks to this diagnosis, surgery and treatment. Our family has grown closer, we hug friends a little tighter, we look at the world thru our God eyes recognizing His “winks” along the way. And, we see His hand in preparing us for this time going back years to careers, friendships and moves. He had a plan all along. And, we have no idea when that plan will end, not one of us. So, I am grateful for each day, each person in my life and each breath. I hope when I am face to face with Him, I can look directly into those gentle eyes and say, “I did my best.”