Monthly Archives: January 2015

One month out from treatment.

One month out from treatment.

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It has been one full month since toxic chemotherapy was injected into my ‘whipple body”. (That’s what I call my body post surgery May 12th, 2014.) I still feel the effects of it. When I look at a date, my mind goes not automatically jump to the sense of time to or from the date. I can barely put this week together. I feel my strength slowly coming back. My desire to prepare a special gnocchi from scratch along with my simple marinara showed me I am on my way back to normalcy…well, a normalcy that includes a medical history of pancreatic cancer. No….normalcy is not a word I will use to describe life as it is now.

When I came home from the hospital during my infection time, I had lost around 35 pounds. Lindsay and her friend Samantha had me put on a fashion show. Everything that looked frumpy went into the donate bag. We all have those clothes back in the rear of the closet we believe we will one day fit back into. Some of them stayed in the front of the closet and some were even too big. It was a really fun day as weak as I was. And I felt good cleaning out the closet. They say with the Whipple Surgery, you probably will not return to your previous weight. Having been a bit on the heavy side, I was thankful for that. Isn’t it interesting to think it could be a good thing to have a few extra pounds on when cancer hits you?

As far as my appetite, it has not returned. Food tastes ok. Nothing really give me a craving. I eat three meals a day most times and I even had a glass of wine for the first time in 8 months. It tasted ok. Before meals I take medications to help my digestion – Creon to replace the work my full sized pancreas did producing the enzymes to digest the food. Reglan for nausea, Ativan for nausea, and Anti-Diarreal and an acid controller for reflux. The pills work, I can eat most anything and have a pill for anything that might come up….haha…or down, as the case may be. It is not easy, but I am alive and I am doing far better than most of those I read about on the Facebook Whipple Survivors Page.

If you have had Whipple Surgery I strongly suggest you check it out. It is a great way to get support and some questions answered. I must warn you though…..don’t second guess your qualified physician. If you don’t feel you agree with your physician, find a new one.

So, as it seems to me, I am doing GREAT! I drove the car for the first time last week. It was strange, but made me feel good. I am looking forward to restorative Yoga and even some tread-milling soon. Next scan is in March.
Keep the prayers coming. They certainly are working. And, thank you for your love and support.

Thank you to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Treatment Plan

Treatment Plan

The second happiest day of my life…..

The second happiest day of my life…..
November 27th, 2014 Our Catholic Wedding Ceremony

November 27th, 2014 Our Catholic Wedding Ceremony

On Friday, the 4th of August, 1983 I married the love of my life in Clearwater, Florida. Rev. Comer of the Clearwater First Methodist Church presided over the ceremony. My dear friend and co-worker Susan Miles attended this church and suggested it for our ceremony since we were not able to be married in the Catholic church because I had been divorced.

For 31 years I attended mass and took communion against Catholic doctrine. My children were all raised Catholic and received all sacraments on time. I love the tradition of the Roman Catholic religion and felt as Catholic as the person sitting next to me until it was time for communion. When I would approach the priest, I would hold my hands out to receive the host and say “amen” just like everyone before and after me….but I felt the priest had to know that I was living a lie. I was NOT the dutiful Catholic I pretended to be. I felt guilty and ashamed and alienated.

In October, 2013 I attended a retreat at our parish called Christ Renews His Parish or CRHP pronounced “chirp” by past attendees. The weekend was life changing for me. The most important revelation was that I had been Catholic since my Grandmother had baptized me when I was 6 weeks old.

After the weekend, with the help of Deacon Dan Scrone, I navigated the required paperwork and became a legal Roman Catholic. All my sacraments were validated and I was a true Roman Catholic.

My dream was to be married in the Catholic Church so that when I received holy communion, I could do so with the same pride and intent as every other Catholic.

God was certainly busy putting all the desires of my heart into action before I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in April, 2015. I thank Him every day for placing my church family deeply into my heart. Their prayers and support during the difficult time ahead after that CRHP weekend would be invaluable.

Thank you my sweet Jesus!

It's official.....

It’s official…..

Our happy family

Our happy family

Crossing the finish line…

Crossing the finish line…

Final Chemo 12/24/14

Final Chemo 12/24/14


December 24th, 2014 at 12:30PM I stepped out of the chemo chair with the help of my husband, whom I lovingly call “Joseph”(as in Mary and Joseph), his real name is Tom, with a huge smile on my face. The chemo nurse handed me a “Certificate of Completion” signed by the entire floor of nurses. I had made it to the end of my treatment protocol.The protocol included one month of Gemzar chemotherapy one month of Radiation and 5FU,a form of chemotherapy administered by a pump continuously, one month off, twelve treatments of Gemzar over four months. After seven months I was officially done with my treatment for pancreatic cancer.

It was Christmas Eve and we had planned to meet the family at our annual gathering spot in front of the huge decorated Christmas tree at our club. I had four hours of medication that would get me thru the celebration with little or no nausea.

We all gathered in front of the huge fireplace on sofas and chairs and Tom ordered up room service of flatbreads and chicken fingers and everyone of age had a Christmas cocktail. Two of my dearest friends joined us with flowers in hand. My children and grand children were all in attendance. It was beautiful.

My dear friends, Lisa and Michele joined us at the PVIC  to celebrate the completion of my treatment on Christmas Eve.

My dear friends, Lisa and Michele joined us at the PVIC to celebrate the completion of my treatment on Christmas Eve.

It was a strange Christmas Eve. Normally we would be holding our open house with as many as 150 people celebrating the birth of baby Jesus. But, not this year. I knew by 5PM I would be yearning for my comfy bed. Tom would be home with me while the rest of the family attended Christmas parities with family and friends.

And, that is exactly what happened. I needed to get thru the next twenty four hours as best I could.

Christmas morning Tom was up bright and early preparing my Christmas blend coffee and sorting out the mountain of presents into separate piles on the sofa so when the kids arrived they could dig right in opening gifts.

Lindsay had prepared our traditional breakfast casserole and placed it in the preheated oven as soon as she came thru the door. In about half an hour it wold smell like Christmas……..”woodsey” smoke from the fireplace, tasty cinnamon coffee brewing from the pot and fluffy eggs and sausage baking in the oven. YUM! (Well, maybe not yum for me….but I would not have had it any other way.) Traditions are very important to me. This year was baby Jude’s first Christmas. He needed to have all the sensations even though he is only 7 months old.

His pile of gifts matched Christmases of years past for all of the children. He is a loved little angel and we would make sure he knew it, as well as his parents.

What would next Christmas be like? That is the problem with cancer. It never leaves your mind. It is always lurking in the shadows. But, you know, it has helped me to realize the importance of each minute of each day, of each celebration, each tradition. I am not afraid because I know I am going to meet my sweet Jesus in heaven. I do worry about those left behind. But, our time on earth is like the blink of an eye. It is comforting to know we will be together for all of eternity.

Everyone is in the race and everyone will cross the finish line sooner or later.