Category Archives: Wedding

Jun20

The ceremony

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The ceremony

The white stretch limo pulled up under the portico of our Catholic church, Our Lady Star of the Sea. We have attended this church since we moved to Ponte Vedra in 1993. Lindsay and Louis had taken their CCD classes here, and now our grandchildren. We have celebrated every holiday and feast at this church. One Christmas in particular I recall the alter servers wore their brand new red robes. Louis held the cross and Lindsay followed behind as they both served on that Christmas Eve. That year we had family from Cleveland, so we had a complete pew filled with Zitiello’s. It is our church home. I cannot imagine spending holidays anywhere else.

When Matthew and Lindsay decided to marry we were hopeful they would want the ceremony to be held at OLSS. The Garrity family also belongs to the parish family. So we were all very pleased when the decision was positive. Fr. Remek Blaszkowski would be the officiant, a young priest with a thick Czech accent, whom we had all fallen in love with. Tom called him the “rock star”. He always kept us enthralled with his up to the moment homilies. We knew they would also love this no nonsense guy with a passion for his faith. Both families couldn’t be happier.

The bridesmaids, the bride and myself sat anxiously in the limo as we watched thru the tinted black windows as guests passed by arriving at the church a little late and rushing in to find their seats. In just a few moments we would enter the church. The bride is always the last to enter, so Lindsay and I stayed behind after the maids made their way inside. I told Lindsay how much her Dad and I love her and how happy we are for her. We were thrilled with her choice in Matt. I held her hand and asked her if she was nervous. She said she wasn’t but was excited and couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle. Suddenly the door opened. Fr. Remek stuck his head into the limo and looked Lindsay straight in the eye as he asked, “What is your final answer Lindsay? Are you ready to marry Matthew?” “Yes” she said “I am ready to marry Matt.” “Let’s go then” he said as he held out his hand to help us, bouquets in hand, exit the limo. He rushed us into the small dressing room where the priests don their vestments for mass and quickly closed the door.

The church was filled with family and friends waiting in anticipation as they sat listening to family friend Chuck Kessler, accompanied by his son Michael, strum his guitar and sing beautiful songs hand picked by Lindsay and Matthew.

The tiny room held a triple mirror, a closet where the priests vestments were stored and a small bathroom. Lindsay twirled and took one last look at herself in the mirror when there was a knock at the door. I knew it had to be her Father. I opened the door a crack as he pushed the door open and slipped into the room with us. “Honey, you are not supposed to be in here.” I said. “Dad” Lindsay said, “I don’t want to ruin my makeup.” “I know” he said, “but I needed to get this ……over…..before….we walk down the aisle.” He stuttered as he took in his daughter-bride in the gown he had not seen until this moment. He turned around fully as he gasped for air. “I want to tell you both how much I love you. Judi… for giving me Lindsay. You are the most important women in my life.” He wiped his tears as there was another knock at the door.

“The Mother of the Bride” needs to get in line now”, the church lady was pleading. I left the room and took my place at the front of the processional with my handsome son Louis who would escort me up the aisle. It was beginning. I had been reminded, the Mother-of-the-Bride controls the ceremony. The music changed to my favorite song,”I Give You My Heart”. Chucks’ voice was sweet and folkish. We were the first to make the slow long walk toward the altar. He walked me to the second pew. Next came the Mother-of-the Groom, Phyllis Garrity on the arm of her Husband-Best Man, Jack. She was seated across the aisle from me. She glanced a smile my way and we stood and approached the altar where we lit the unity candles, two candles representing the two families with one large candle in the center. When the candles had been lit we squeezed each others hand and descended the few steps back to our seats.

Judi and Phyllis light their unity candles

Now it was time for the processional hymn “This is the Day”. Matthew, the Bridegroom and his Father-Best Man were next. Matthew looked so handsome, his tall stature and his tight black curls. On his black lapel was an orchid boutineer, a small dove feather tucked in. They slowly approached the altar and took their places turning to watch the processional and then the Bride and her Father. The moment he had waited for was fast approaching.

The Bridesmaids and Groomsmen were next in their beautiful Vera Wang yellow-gold flowing gowns and classic black tuxes, everyone smiling as the excitement was building. I had honestly never seen such a beautiful collection of friends. They approached the altar, lowered their heads as they reached the first step, the maids lined up to the left the groomsmen to the right. The witnesses were in place.

Next came the priest in his beautiful cream colored robe with an embellished green vestment draped over his shoulders. He took his place at the center of the altar near Matthew.

Matthew’s niece, darling 3 1/2 year old MaryBeth was chosen as the flower girl with Tommy and Mitchell as ring bearers. The children made their way down the aisle. MaryBeth was coaxed down by adult cousin, beautiful Kelly Sherrod. They took their places in the front pews next to their families curious about what was going to happen next.

The altar was complete with the exception of one.

The music changed to “Canon in D” as Fr. Remek motioned for everyone to stand. And suddenly she appeared on the arm of her proud Father, more beautiful then ever and smiling. Tom held her hand on his arm as he guided his only precious daughter to her love waiting at the altar. She was a picture perfect bride in her Augusta Jones creamy lace dress with a long satin bow at her waist and the long lace train trailing behind. She wore no veil on her low soft bun just a beautiful creamy flower to one side. On her wrist was her “something borrowed”, my pearl bracelet. She was stunning.

Words cannot express the emotion of this moment in time.

Matthew did not take his eyes away off of her from the moment she entered the church. He later told me he couldn’t believe she was really his.

The guests were seated and a full Catholic mass began. The Brides oldest brother Scott and the Grooms sisters, Jacqueline and Amy read the scriptures specially selected by Lindsay and Matthew. Both families were well represented in the sacred sacrament of holy matrimony.

When Fr. Remek began his homily he held everyones attention. Lindsay and Matthew had met with Fr. Remek to prepare for their marriage for eight months. So, with personal knowledge he spoke from his heart. He told Lindsay that she showed her trust in Matthew when he blindfolded her and took her for a car ride last November. And, when he placed her in the stunt plane and sent her up in the air with only a pilot and her parachute. He asked her thru her headphones if she wanted to take another wild ride with him, when he asked her to marry him.
Fr. Remek told the Bride and Groom and the assembled guests that they were embarking on a true adventure and that trust in each other and trust in God would be the foundation they should build their family on. It was a wonderful homily enjoyed by everyone.

The vows were spoken and the rings blessed and exchanged. Matthew and Lindsay lit the large candle with the two side candles lit by their Mothers and they became one in God’s eyes. The mass continued with the sacred solemnity it always holds. The couple turned from the priest toward the assembly and were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Garrity. We all cheered and clapped our hands. Chuck began to loudly strum and sing Third Days’ “I’ve Always Loved You”. Then, Matthew, with his hand at his brides back, led his Wife-Bride down the steps and down the aisle, past family and friends both of them bursting with happiness.

They were officially married.

Let the party begin.

Jun9

I do……

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I do……

Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Christopher Garrity


Eight months have passed since that autumn day in October when our beautiful daughter, Lindsay became Mrs. Matthew C. Garrity. Much like the last eight months, the wedding we had been planning sped by quickly. Even now I reflect on it and an image pops into my head of a small detail. I wonder if I will forget those special touches that marked the occasion unique and so very “Lindsay”. Yet we all have those moments etched in our minds. Points in time when life took on a greater level of meaning and happiness. October 2nd, 2010 was one of those days.

Matt and his father, Jack Garrity.

Tom had entertained the groomsmen at our home where they relaxed around the pool, played cards in the man room and donned their classic black tuxes for the wedding. It was befitting for the groom and his groomsmen to spend the morning in that room. Tom was in his glory.

The groomsmen celebrate!

Lindsay had asked me to spend the entire day at her side. Gladly accommodating, I was with my daughter-bride and her maids at theTPC Clubhouse that can be viewed from our back door. We had taken over the ladies locker room.The TPC staff lavished us with endless champagne and trays of light hors d’oeuvres and fruit and cheese as friends and relatives dropped in to make a delivery or offer help in some way. Margot, our friend and wedding photographer was busy snapping away while Andrea, the make-up artist and Grayzna, our hair stylist prepared the beautiful maids. All the while, Lindsay’s lace dress hung from the chandelier, awaiting the moment when she would don the one element that would set her apart from every other person at the wedding. That dress that had been kept secret from all but the bridesmaids and their Mothers for several months.

A tender moment captured

At one point there was a knock at the door. Audrey answered and In strolled Blake, Matt’s cousin and one of his Best Men holding a wrapped box and a letter. He handed Lindsay the gift and waited for her to open it, a camera for the honeymoon. Audrey read the letter from Matt aloud as we all melted! His words were touching and sweet and full of love. Blake gave Lindsay a hug and told her he would see her at the church and returned to groomsmen. Then Audrey left to deliver Matt’s special gift, a beautiful watch to remind him of the day and a letter full of love and promises.

The morning sun was peeking through puffy white clouds that turned a dark grey by noon. There had been big plans for The Lawn behind the TPC Clubhouse after the church ceremony and prior to the reception in the Ponte Vedra Grand Ballroom on the second floor of the Clubhouse a Spanish revival architecture building that although was built in 2009, appears to be hundreds of years old. There had been no rain for several weeks and there was no more than a twenty percent chance. But, around 12:30 the skies opened up and it poured for half an hour, just long enough to turn the lawn to a soggy green sponge. Certainly no place for a soft white bridal gown and maids in trailing yellow-gold bobbinette, not to mention the guests in those stylish stilettos. The wedding coordinator made the decision and informed the Father of the Bride there would be no hot air balloon champagne toasts or outdoor bar.The guitar player would join the harp player in the grand foyer and the bars and high boys set up on the gallery overlooking the foyer. It is written that a bit of rain on your wedding day will bring your marriage good luck.

Our floral designer, Liza Chung is an accomplished stylist and had outdone herself with Lindsay’s wedding design. The bridal bouquet and bridal party bouquets arrived in two huge baskets. Lindsay’s bouquet burst with blush peonies, creamy white roses, cala lillies and gentle cymbidium orchids. The blunt cut stems were tightly wound with cream colored ribbon held with pearl headed pins. The maids bouquets were a smaller version of Lindsay’s. Liza is truly an artist.

A white stretch limo would pick up the bride, myself and the maids after delivering the Groom, his future Father in Law and his groomsmen, that included Matt’s Father as best man to the church a short five minute drive away. As we waited for the limo to arrive Margot captured amazing images of Lindsay and the Bridesmaids and me around the picturesque clubhouse. The rain had freshened the air and we felt like we were floating on a cloud in anticipation. Visitors to the clubhouse stopped and smiled when they saw us. Who doesn’t like a wedding?

The Bride and her maids.

Liza and her “divas” motioned for us to come up the grand staircase and take a peek at the site of the reception. When we opened the door I could smell the flowers. The huge rustic iron chandeliers were draped with ropes of small pearls. The tables varied in design so as not to overstate. Some tables boasted four foot tall glass vessels filled with pearls and bursting over with huge sprays of blush peonies, roses and cymbidium orchids with the soft golden glow of waves of votives beneath. Other tables held glass blocks filled with glass gems and holding trails of cymbidium orchids and more votives. Some tables were centered with a collection of clear wine bottles topped with flickering tapers and more blush peonies, cream roses in bowls. In the middle of each table was a small wooden toy bi-plane with a gold number painted on it’s wings. The theme was flight and adventure in keeping with Matt’s proposal and the stunt plane. At the end of the dance floor was a smaller sweetheart table with crystal bowls brimming with peonies, roses, and orchids. The soft glow from the candles that covered the table was angelic. Two place settings set side by side where the bride and groom would eat their first meal together as husband and wife. When the doors were flung open welcoming everyone to the reception it would be magical.

The sweetheart table

Finally, our carriage arrived and the girls carefully stepped into the limo with their bouquets. Lindsay and I were the last to enter. Matt’s desire was coming to meet him at the beautiful church where they would speak their vows and begin the adventure of their lives as one. She was on her way to say….”I do”.

May4

More fairytales come true…

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More fairytales come true…

Tea with the royal family.

Last Friday – April 29, 2011 my alarm sounded at precisely 3:58am just 2 minutes before coverage would begin of the greatest event to occur in the Royal Family since the marriage of Princess Diana to Prince Charles. It was later reported by NBC that 5.21 million loyal subjects joined me.

My English bone china tea cup sat awaiting the tea kettle to whistle. My choice of tea for the important event was a blend I had ordered online from England. I selected the Queen Mum to perch upon the rim as I savored every moment of the nuptials. It was soothing and warm, just the perfect touch for this dark spring morning.

The wedding did not disappoint. I loved watching the guests arrive, especially David Beckham whom I concluded to receive the “MHA”. (Most handsome award). The hats were fascinating and the term quickly circulated, every network scooped who they thought sported the most stylish “fascinator”. What fun.

The Bride was regal and performed her role in perfect step with head held high and hand delicately sitting atop her escort, first her Father and then her Groom. She was stunning in her timeless white lace gown and simple (if Royal Family jewels could ever be described as simple) diamond tiara loaned to her by her future Grandmother the Queen, a gift to her from her Mother upon her 18th birthday.

Her young attendants were perfectly matched and led by the Brides sister Pippa who later was said to have stolen a small part of the attention from the Bride with her beauty, her slim frame in a demure white silk gown. Pippa was lovely and no DNA questions here.

The Groom was handsome in his dress uniform and appeared quite at ease. Royal Brother Prince Harry, true to character, could not contain himself and had to turn to steal a glimpse of Kate as she made the four and one half minute walk from the Abbey doors on her Father’s arm to the altar where she would become the Princess, The Duchess of Cambridge. Prince Harry whispered to his brother, “Yes, she is here”. When Kate reached the altar, the Groom/Prince seeing her for the first moment whispered, “You are beautiful.” And, after a few seconds, lightly told Kate’s Father,Michael, “We are supposed to have a small family wedding.”

The wedding was surreal. Then the procession back to Buckingham Palace and the Royal family and The Middleton family made their appearance on the balcony overlooking the mall. The first kiss was perfect ….and after a few minutes to everyone’s surprise and delight – another. But, the best part to me was the unselfish act of the proud Groom driving his Bride off in his Dad’s prized Aston Martin Seychelles Blue DB6 MKII Volante, so typical of this modern day couple….the obviously happy newly crowned Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

This is a marriage made in heaven. It was later said the weather had been overcast most of the morning, however, when Kate emerged from her hotel, to enter her limo to whisk her off to the Abbey, the clouds opened up and the sunlight streamed thru, as if Diana was smiling down in approval as Kate left to join her Groom, Prince William at the altar. I believe that too!

I am so looking forward to more magic from this beautiful and refreshing Royal couple.

Blessings to you both!

Cheerio!

Nov25

Dining and dancing to follow…

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Dining and dancing to follow…

Matt and Lindsay had set the date, October 2nd, 2010. 10-2-10 we laughed. The next step was to determine how many guests we would invite. That would lead us to a very big decision-the reception site. Ponte Vedra beach is a small town and has only a few places that can accommodate over 200 guests. We needed to begin our selection process right away if they wanted to secure the date. We arranged a meeting with the wedding coordinator to at TPC of Sawgrass for the four of us to attend. This would be their very first step down the aisle.

Lindsay was certain her expectations and those of her Father for her wedding day were going to be a challenge.  She had always been the type of person who enjoyed simple things. And her Father let’s just say could be considered an…”over the top” kind of guy. Matthew seemed pleased with any decision that made Lindsay happy, and of course, made Tommy happy too.  I was stuck somewhere in the middle, explaining both sides and trying to keep everyone from killing each other. That was no simple task

After our meeting with TPC we knew we had started at the top of the list, the absolute greatest venue in the area.  It would be difficult to find any place that could accommodate our group and ever compare to the stately opulence of the 77,000 square foot Spanish Revival styled, world famous TPC Clubhouse. Plus, the people who worked at the club were like family to the Zitiello’s. The clubhouse literally sits in our backyard and has been the”home course” for our family AND is the sole reason we bought the lot and constructed our home here over 18 years ago. It was only fitting that our one and only daughter hold her wedding reception at the famed TPC of Sawgrass Clubhouse.  But, Lindsay wanted to proceed slowly.  She had to think about it.  And, that is a good thing!

During the meeting with the TPC staff we poured over the menus and discussed the possibilities. It was revealed that the bride and groom would receive some “perks”.  Special chiavari chairs, a honeymoon suite at the Sawgrass Marriott for the evening, AND a one year club membership!  Matt was sold!

After just two weeks Lindsay agreed there was no reason to look any further. It was decided, we would hold an epic reception at the TPC of Sawgrass Clubhouse on October 2, 2010 and a deposit was made to secure the date.

Oct8

Waking with a smile

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Waking with a smile

The marriage proposal had taken place and the answer was “yes”. I found myself waking up with a light heart and an air of excitement. There was so much to do, to dream of, to plan. Tom was as happy as me about the choice our daughter had made. Lindsay was beaming. Even Louis was happy around the house. When God shines His light down on your family, you cannot help but feel it.

The holidays were special this year. An engagement party was being planned by Matt’s Aunt Sharon and Uncle Jack for early January. There were new faces at our Christmas Eve Open House. We were just getting to know his family and we felt very comfortable with all of  them.

Lindsay wanted to move slowly. She wanted to enjoy her engagement. She was taking it all in. I loved that about her. Time would pass quickly enough. They decided on a date….October 2nd, 2010.  A fall wedding would be great. The wedding planning was under way.

Christmas gifts were wedding-related. Monogrammed coffee mugs, wedding planning books and Bride Magazine.  She signed onto The Knot online and set up her timeline. Oh how I love technology!

We were asked to make a list of guests to invite to the engagement party.  That was the very first list. Lists will become our life. We will make lists, we will discuss lists, we will revise lists, we will prepare excel spreadsheets with lists and we will dream of lists. It is all a part of the process.  The wonderful task of putting a wedding together. I never complained.

I loved every single solitary minute of it!

Oct7

Yoda, the stunt airplane/the proposal

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Yoda, the stunt airplane/the proposal

An entry from my personal journal November 28, 2009

Grandma and Grandpa Zitiello traveled from Cleveland to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday with their Florida family. Normally they would stay in Cleveland to be near Cathy and her children, Mary and Missy, Tom’s three sisters. But, we had convinced them to make the trip south this year.

Tom and I had a secret to keep. Certainly it was difficult, but, we realized the importance of containing our excitement and remained tight lipped.

Each day we awoke to the question; could this be the day?  Lindsay had no idea of  the life changing event that was about to happen. She continued her routine, work, eat, meet up with friends home for the holiday and of course being with Matt. The air was filled with anticipation.

The ring was due to arrive on Tuesday so we knew from that day on it could happen. Thanksgiving Day came and went and the Grandparents were starting to discuss their return trip. Maybe they should leave sooner to avoid the holiday traffic. Of course Tom and I constantly plotted to persuade them to stay.

Saturday rolled around and Lindsay and I were preparing a picnic lunch for she and Matt. They had planned to spend the day together in St. Augustine, nothing unusual for them. I made sure there was a nice bottle of wine to go with the turkey sandwiches. She left with the scrumptious basket around 10AM to meet Matt.

Shortly after she left the house the phone rang.  It was Matt asking if we could have all the relatives from both sides of the family at our house at 3PM. Today was the day. I agreed and immediately called Publix Bakery for a congratulatory cake. The doorbell rang and it was the florist with a huge arrangement. The card read “To the future Mrs. Garrity, we love you so much! Can’t wait to be there to celebrate with you. love, Samantha and Audrey.” All arranged from San Francisco. Phone calls were made, family invited. Everyone was wondering what was happening.

Back to the lovebirds.

Matt and Lindsay were en route to St. Augustine. Just south of Ponte Vedra Matt  pulled off the road and told Lindsay he was giving her an early Christmas present. She would need to be blindfolded and he placed the black rolled napkin over her eyes and tied it behind her head. She was laughing while trying to guess what it could possibly be. Just a few months before they had gone to the Jacksonville Beach Air-show. Lindsay had remarked she would like to one day ride in a stunt plane. Little did she know, today was the day.

They arrived at the St. Augustine Regional Airport and Matt escorted Lindsay to the prearranged area where  pilot Craig Fordham and stunt plane “Yoda” stood waiting. Matt said, “Merry Christmas, you are going for a ride.” Lindsay was helped into her parachute and into the rear seat on the airplane by pilot and crew and before she could refuse they were taking off down the runway heading north toward Jacksonville Beach.

The airplane is a training plane equipped with cameras on each wing, the nose and the tail.  The pilot and passenger have headphones so they can communicate with one another and also the ground crew and air traffic control. Throughout the flight the pilot asked Lindsay how she was doing as he looped and spun his was along the sunny beaches of St. Augustine and Jacksonville all the while capturing her reaction on video.

Suddenly Matt was speaking to her in her headphones. ” Are you enjoying your wild ride?”  he asked. “Yes,” she said.  ”This is crazy.”  ’Would you like to take another wild ride with me?  Will you marry me?”  he asked. “What?” she said, screaming in delight. “Yes, oh yes.”  The pilot also came into her ear saying, “Would you like to go back now?” “Yes, please “,  she replied as the cameras rolled capturing her tears and surprise.

Back at the hangar the ground crew was preparing for Yoda’s landing and had a camera crew to capture what was about to happen. Matt went down on one knee as Yoda approached. Pilot Craig helped Lindsay out of the plane and she ran to Matt and the ring box extended to her.  He placed the platinum solitaire diamond on her left hand ring finger and they embraced in a romantic kiss.

After several pictures Matt and Lindsay left St. Augustine airport and went to the park to eat their lunch and share some private time. On the way they phoned the parents to tell them the good news. When Tom and I heard the phone ring we BOTH picked up the telephone.  ”Mom, Dad, I am marrying Matt”  Lindsay screamed into the phone.  We told her we were very happy for them and we loved them both.

The Garrity and Zitiello family began to arrive  at our house as well as Matt & Lindsay’s friends and some of their parents. The bottles of champagne were on ice . When they finally arrived we all rushed to the front door to greet the happy couple with congratulations and many hugs and kisses.

After things calmed down Tom raised a glass of champagne and gave a wonderful toast to the future Mr. & Mrs. Matthew Christopher Garrity, followed by a toast from Jack Garrity, Jack Sherrod and Blake Sherrod. It was a beautiful day. I know the Grandparents will never forget being there to share every moment of it.

Matt had shown both his creativity and his romantic side  in a beautiful way.  And, one day, if God blesses them with children, they will be able to watch the engagement proposal of their parents right before their eyes!

We are certain Matt loves our daughter and she loves him. What more could a Mother and Father ask for their only daughter?

We love you too Matt Garrity!

Oct6

Ohio vs. Michigan/Asking for her hand

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Ohio vs. Michigan/Asking for her hand

It has been some time since I have written in my blog… and I miss it.  However, there was a very special reason for my neglect. On Saturday, October 2nd, 2010 Lindsay Nicole Zitiello, our only daughter, and Matthew Christopher Garrity, the love of Lindsay’s life, were joined together in the state of holy matrimony in the presence of 250 family members and friends by Father Remek at Our Lady Star of the Sea Catholic Church. A reception followed in the ballroom of the clubhouse of the TPC Sawgrass, a Spanish Revival 77,000 square foot building resembling Cinderella’s castle. There is much about this wedding that I need to write, not only to share with anyone who would like to read about it, but also to preserve the emotions that have welled up inside of me since the engagement last year Thanksgiving week. It has been an amazing year for our entire family, and I might add, our new extended family the Garrity’s.  So, for the next few weeks I will share the highlights.

Reflecting back to November, 2009

It all began a few weeks before Thanksgiving during the Ohio State vs. Michigan football game. Lindsay and I were busy cooking in the kitchen while Matt and Tom were enthralled in the game in the “man-room”. Perhaps Matt was not so enthralled, come to think about it.

He told Tom he needed to ask him something. Tom detected the seriousness in Matt’s voice and immediately turned down the volume of the 50″ flatscreen that projected the game he had waited twelve months to witness. Matt told Tom of his intention and asked for our blessing. Tom in turn discussed the seriousness of the commitment and once he was convinced Matt understood and had given it much contemplation, he gave the blessing with a handshake and a welcoming hug.

He later admitted he was very nervous to ask Mr. Z for Lindsay’s hand in marriage. In fact, more nervous about that than he was about asking Lindsay to marry him.

Matt asked when the grandparents would be arriving for the Thanksgiving holiday and revealed he would ask Lindsay before they would return to Ohio so they could be witness to the momentous event.

An hour later I was still busy at the computer and preparing dinner. Twice Tom looked over the loft  to see if Lindsay was still with me. Finally he determined she and Matt had left.  He came down practically running to the wine cellar to grab a chilled bottle of bubbly and two champagne flutes. He told me to follow him to the bedroom. I laughed and told him it was 5:30 in the afternoon! He said, “You can count on your hand the number of times in your life you have something like this to share, I have to tell you something….follow me.”

Once we were in the sitting room he had tears in his eyes as her recounted the conversation he had had with Matt.  He told me how Matt had “done it right”, first off by asking on his most favorite day in college football AND in the man room on a Saturday afternoon. But, most importantly, Matt had done much more “right”. Matt had waited until both he and Lindsay had graduated college, both gotten jobs and been working for a year, and he had bought a home for them to live in. They were in love and they both wanted to spend their lives together. He had purchased an engagement ring that would arrive on Tuesday. He would ask her to marry him before the Thanksgiving weekend was over.

Matt is the perfect choice for Lindsay. Over the four and a half years they have dated we have grown to know Matt and witnessed on several occasions his love for our daughter and her love for him. We both could not have been happier with what was about to unfold.

I wonder if Tom remembers which team won that game?

May27

Looking into the mirror

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Looking into the mirror

Sometimes I look at her and see a familiar face, the lines of her profile, the shape of her nose.  It is as if I am reliving a tiny piece of my past.  It might be an expression she throws out in conversation. It might be the way she tilts her head.  It takes me back to a place in time.  She is very obviously my flesh and blood, my DNA, my daughter.

Lindsay was my last child,the only girl of the three.  The boys are naturally equally loved and adored, but they do not possess any of my physical traits.  For that I suppose I am grateful.  They are handsome, tall and very loving, genuinely good human beings. My little girl is all of those things, plus a carbon copy of my physical self.

Now, she is not just me.  Throw in some of Dad’s wonderful characteristics, physical, mental and emotional, and you have our daughter Lindsay. She has a strong sense of loyalty, a great work ethic and is basically very honest and highly emotional. She has confidence and an ability to lead.  She is a great mix of us both.

It sounds very much like I am bragging, and I suppose I am.  However, there are moments when I also see my less than positive attributes. Perhaps those are learned behaviors, but they are there non-the-less. The bursts of temper and sometimes a superlative thrown in for measure, just to be certain the point is crystal clear.  She tends to exaggerate like me. She is proof that children emulate our actions… note to self.

The funny thing is, if she walks like me and she talks like me…..she still is Lindsay….not me. She will live her life making mistakes and learning how to achieve her goals and her own brand of personal happiness. She will be held accountable for every decision, just as we all are. But, we (her dad and I) will be there every step of the way, guiding and helping so the mistakes will maybe be fewer, the pain a little less sharp and the happiness and faith a whole lot stronger. What a wonderful gift God gives us in our children, the chance to refine and make life better.

I love looking in the mirror.

May20

Presiding over my domain (taking control)

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Presiding over my domain (taking control)

Every once in awhile it dawns on me that  life has spun out of control.  It happens slowly, bite by bite, day by day,  a missed workout here, a french fry there. Suddenly, I realize I am avoiding my daily weigh-in knowing, deep down, the scale has to be tipping in the wrong direction. The bad habits creep into my day:  a piece of cheese in the afternoon with some crackers, or not 1 but 2 Weight Watcher English Toffee Crunch Ice Cream Bars.  Then comes the moment of truth. The bermuda shorts fit snuggly, my tops are bulging. When I twirl around in the mirror, there it is….the dreaded “back-fat”. The slippery slide has taken me down it’s path and I am no longer in control of my weight, one of the important areas I actually can control..

For most of my life I was blessed by being a “thin” person.  I never craved sweets, in fact I actually loved salty and sour tastes. But, that all changed when I met the love of my life who just happens to be Italian. I found myself enjoying long meals and preparing meals myself – meals with several courses,the last course, dessert. Meals became a source of entertainment. Cities were not noted for their magnificent sights, in my world they became known for a famous steakhouse or deli. Slowly my slim waist transformed to a muffin top!  My size 4 body became 6, then 8 and even 10! What was happening to me?

Let’s be honest here. I am not young.  I am even a bit past middle aged.  I would not even qualify for “Cougar”. But, the aging process is not going to stop. It seems like yesterday (age, maybe 26) when I glimpsed the rearview mirror to check myself out and noticed two lines along my neck, under my chin.  It looked like two scars from plastic surgery.  I had not even ever had plastic surgery. What was this?  Then, a few years later I was climbing into the v-birth of my sailboat when I noticed the ever so slight pooch of skin sort of wrinkled and hanging (evidence of child-bearing) where my flat abdomen used to be. These subtle signals were roadsigns that lead in only one direction… toward menopause, the next big milestone, the one that gave me hot flashes and a “men-o-pot”.  The mirror was being avoided much like the scale.  But, then God, in His wisdom, took away my clear vision and left me in a blur. The lines that formed along my mouth became more faint. However, the digital numbers on my scale popped up clearly.  It seemed as if I had gained ten pounds for every decade since I was 20!  The scale did not lie.

Recently they announced a study that said a woman over forty must do an hour of cardio daily to maintain her weight.  That is just great.  That means my vigorous daily walk was allowing me to only maintain? But, I want to lose.  I have a wedding in October.  Those matronly Mother of the Bride dresses are not for me.  I wanted a sleek tight fitting dress. And, I didn’t want to wear a jacket to cover my arms. I had t o step it up… literally.

The ocean is just 5 miles from my home.  I love the ocean, I love to bike and I love to walk.  It seemed simple enough.  Just incorporate those loves into a new workout plan.  So, at least three days per week I try to bike to the ocean 5 miles, walk the ocean for 1 hour around 4 miles, then bike home another 5 miles.  This takes me 2 hours.  And, it is rejuvenating to chase the sandpipers walking in the hard sand just beyond the breaking surf with the sun hitting my face and the waves crashing to my side, every passerby smiling and nodding hello. A beautiful workout.

Slowly the pounds are melting away.  The scale is sliding in the right direction.  I monitor my input (eating) and my output (exercise).  The years are slipping by.  The wrinkles continue to appear. That is something beyond my control. But, the feeling I have of being back in the drivers seat is wonderful.  I have more energy and am starting to peek in the mirror a bit more often these days. That long indigo gown should look great by October. And, I don’t think I will wear a jacket or even a throw. Back in control and  I feel amazing.  Mother of the Bride….Judi Z style………

Mar25

We wish to thank……..

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We wish to thank……..

The wedding is fast approaching and our family needs to be thinking about toasts or tributes we might be called upon to make. My husband is a great proponent of  toasts, always ready to click the glass and express his personal thoughts at a celebration, a kindness, a success, any reason to lend an encouraging word…or fifty words. Every family member has experienced this practice since they were old enough to understand English, and has been encouraged to actively participate. The children were taught early on the importance of this ritual even if it is as simple as “I love Grandma because she makes the best meatballs.” Not everyone is comfortable with being put on the spot in this way.  But, every so often I am touched by the sincere and oft profound words that flow from the mouth of a family member as the tradition circles our dinner table. As the Mother of the Bride, I need to prepare something to say at the bridal shower.  And it needs to be good.

With any milestone passage, we naturally reflect on the person and others who have been a support along the way. It is simple for me to gush about my lovely daughter and her equally lovely friends. In fact, this might be the only acceptable time for a mom to get it all out without her daughter rolling her eyes or anyone else being brought to nausea.  I will have the floor, I will have their complete and utter attention so reflect I will.

The bridal shower is a charming tradition.  It is the one day according to “The Knot” when the bride  should be treated as the center of attention.  The shower will be be completely and totally all about her. I want to collect my thoughts over time so that I am totally prepared and so that I weed out those things that would be better left unsaid. Like the day we were driving in the car on the way to the mall and the girls asked me a question about oral sex. And how I prayed at the very moment that God would give me the exact words that I should say.  Oh, and that my face would not reflect my horror at the thought of these innocents even thinking about that.  But, more importantly I want to be sure I touch on those important things. Like the day she finally admitted she thought Matthew was the one. When she shared her dreams with me about her life and her love. I love that there are bridal showers to allow us all to get an intimate glimpse of the lives of those we hold so dear.

So, I am going to tie up my walking shoes and think about what I want to say that day.  I pray it will honor her and show her how much she means to me, her Dad,our entire family and all of our close and dear friends.  I have  5 mos, 9 days, 6 hours and 25 mins. to get it right.