The nurse covered me with a warmed blanket. The life killing chemo drugs were coursing through my body making me feel chilled. The blanket felt like heaven.
I have now lost track of how many chemo infusions I have received. But, my oncologist says I am a good responder to chemo. So we stay on course. I am currently on what he calls “chemo maintenance.” Just one infusion once a month. Truth is, I am afraid to stop taking it.
The last scan revealed the eleven plus tumors in my lungs , my recurrence of pancreas cancer, are not growing. That is the best possible news we could hope for.
My sweet Tommy is comfortable on the couch in the chemo suite as we watch the movie we have chosen for today. “I Can Only Imagine”, the true story of Bart Millard the lead singer of the band MercyMe.
The story is riveting of this young Greenville, Texas boy who’s mother left home leaving him in the care of an abusive alcoholic father. His only salvation was his love of music that led him to the protection of his true Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ.
After returning home at one point in the movie, Bart and his father have their usual explosive fight and Bart runs out of the house and tries to leave on his motorcycle. In a twist of fate, the bike won’t start but Bart is determined to leave and jumps into his dad’s truck where he finds a pamphlet in the visor about Pancreatic Cancer.
His dad was dying.
Bart takes his father to church where he accepts Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. This man who had been broken all of his life was transformed.
Bart’s struggles with his musical career were exhausting but he knew he had a song deep within him. He continued to search for it, journaling lyrics and strumming his guitar.
Finally it comes to him. “I Can Only Imagine”.
Bart’s agent felt the song could be the hit they had all been searching for but considered giving it to an established singer, Amy Grant. She loved the song as everyone who heard it did and she was set to perform it to a packed concert hall.
Amy Grant stood on stage, guitar in hand as the first bars of the song played. But she could not sing. She knew the song was going to be a hit. She also knew Bart Millard the songwriter. She stopped and told the crowd, “This is not my song to sing…meet Bart Millard, and this is his song.” Surprised Bart takes the stage and slowly begins to sing his beautiful song . As he looks out over the crowd, the seats are all empty except for one. His father was sitting in the middle of the hall with a heavenly light streaming all around him and smiling the look of a proud father.
I Can Only Imagine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LonOTKVmkeo
I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk, by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When you face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagineSurrounded by You glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagineI can only imagine when that day comes
When I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I would do is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagineSurrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I…
Tommy and I left the chemo suite in tears. It was such a heartbreaking story with the perfect ending. We were visibly touched. What a wonderful way to spend this difficult day. We knew it was a sign from God that Bart’s dad had pancreatic cancer.
Two days went by and I was suffering from the effects of the chemo drugs attacking my body. I got a call from a friend inviting Tommy and I to join she and her husband the next night at a concert …..”Mercy Me” !! I told her yes we would go not really knowing if my body would be strong enough.
At the concert we were thrilled to see Bart onstage with the rest of his band. They played several great songs and near the end of the show sang “I Can Only Imagine”. Tommy and I sat close and felt he was singing only to the two of us. It was a magical moment. We felt God’s presence.
And, as our Lord would have it…there is always a message. Bart explained about his final song…..”We Win”.
“No matter what is happening in your life today, no matter how messed up the world is right now, none of this matters because if you have Jesus Christ in your life, when we lay our head down to rest….You win. You get to spend eternity with a loving living God.”
Again we were brought to tears. This was the message God had for us that night. We win.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AQ3bHr80PM
P.S. Bart Millard, I don’t know if you will ever see this page, but if you do, I would love to have a few minutes of your time to share our story with you
Source: LyricFind