Sometimes I look at her and see a familiar face, the lines of her profile, the shape of her nose. It is as if I am reliving a tiny piece of my past. It might be an expression she throws out in conversation. It might be the way she tilts her head. It takes me back to a place in time. She is very obviously my flesh and blood, my DNA, my daughter.
Lindsay was my last child,the only girl of the three. The boys are naturally equally loved and adored, but they do not possess any of my physical traits. For that I suppose I am grateful. They are handsome, tall and very loving, genuinely good human beings. My little girl is all of those things, plus a carbon copy of my physical self.
Now, she is not just me. Throw in some of Dad’s wonderful characteristics, physical, mental and emotional, and you have our daughter Lindsay. She has a strong sense of loyalty, a great work ethic and is basically very honest and highly emotional. She has confidence and an ability to lead. She is a great mix of us both.
It sounds very much like I am bragging, and I suppose I am. However, there are moments when I also see my less than positive attributes. Perhaps those are learned behaviors, but they are there non-the-less. The bursts of temper and sometimes a superlative thrown in for measure, just to be certain the point is crystal clear. She tends to exaggerate like me. She is proof that children emulate our actions… note to self.
The funny thing is, if she walks like me and she talks like me…..she still is Lindsay….not me. She will live her life making mistakes and learning how to achieve her goals and her own brand of personal happiness. She will be held accountable for every decision, just as we all are. But, we (her dad and I) will be there every step of the way, guiding and helping so the mistakes will maybe be fewer, the pain a little less sharp and the happiness and faith a whole lot stronger. What a wonderful gift God gives us in our children, the chance to refine and make life better.
I love looking in the mirror.